Thursday, March 19, 2015


Some things you lose in life you can  

be taught in how to live with that missing.  
But some things you lose will follow you all the way to the end.  
A missing larger than life.

 I´m so tired, throughout my life I have really never heard the words that someone loves me. 
Only a few times with a few I've met. Love has been a long lie meeting married wives, young girls and short occasional meetings in locations across the planet. All with the same message of loving me, passion, intimacy and respect, all with the same lie in the words that they love me. All with the same word transformed with lies that we should be together. Just like when I was growing up with parents, all with lies and poorly hidden truths about all drugs, fights and threats. My life has been a struggle that maybe someday I will not be left alone and maybe i find someone to trust. But again, time after time I believe on their words .. words and actions of passion and love. I can not take it anymore and have realized that I will never hear the words that someone loves me again. 
I have realized after losing two kids that my time is over for a thing I really wanted, kids.
I don´t understand whats left any more for me.. or why I have to live this painful life. 


Thursday, March 5, 2015





I really should not bother me anymore - but still I do.
And it hurt my heart like a m-f.


True songs of yesterday.

Sunday, March 1, 2015






 I had a dream that we where here together, that we traveled the world and felt it all.

Thursday, February 26, 2015


Just once i meet her for a short moment, I will never forget her in a life time.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Tuesday, February 24, 2015


The crucial point is how to take and give. Many people think they are in balance and give and take equally. But no one does it, everyone will take more than they give. Although we believe we ourselves are a more of a giving person than a taking person. The reality is another. Most of us take over 90% and gives only 10%. I'm not talking about to be kind to their own children and loved ones. I'm talking about to the world, and those you meet for short periods in love and friendship. People think they are balanced because their practicing yoga or meditating. They think they are in balance when they eat organic. But they are still far from a balance. Most people are also confusing the balance with their happiness in money and possessions. The equation is impossible, and many are left devastated after that love and friendship only become a giving, not getting. Also many wars will be created, hatred builds up, the fight to take more than you give will claim many victims. People, nations, countries, cultures. All levels are affected by the imbalance.. and still we believe we are in balance.    J

Monday, February 23, 2015


Collected some rain water that had fallen during the night and had run along the tree bark. A water full of energy and great for water therapy for today's visitors. The water is recycled after use on a body and run by my sand, rock and charcoal filter. Then it becomes a even more full of energy from all contact with nature and humans.